COVID-19 x Relationship

How has COVID-19 impacted our intimate relationships?

Periods of prolonged stress can impact our ability to not only care of ourselves, but for others as well. This pandemic has certainly presented its own unique stressors and concerns and has taken a toll on romantic relationships.

Psychologist and relationship expert Chris Kraft, of John Hopkins Medicine, shares that even the most devoted and mature couples can experience great difficulties and stress when dealing with financial concerns, job loss, or illness, which is what many individuals have been experiencing during this time.

There are many different situations for couples going on during this time. However, for the most part, many couples are either quarantined together or loving from a distance; both have their own unique challenges on relationships. Although this post will focus more heavily on the couples who are loving from a distance, since that is the current situation I am in, there will be many things that couples living together can relate to and apply to their own situation.

Fortunately, Kraft highlights a "silver lining" for young couples and new relationships during the pandemic. Kraft suggests that "This situation affords couples an opportunity to get to know one another through conversation, without physical contact. Learning more about the other person can help intimacy grow, and create a strong foundation for when they are reunited." Therefore, here are some ways that relationship professionals and researchers are suggesting may help couples attend to their relationship needs.

Maintaining a Healthy Relationship During COVID-19

1. Verbalize: Barbara Ricky, MS, LPCC, advises couples to focus on talking about their feelings and worries. We cannot make accurate assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling and we cannot make the assumptions that our partner can read our minds. Couples have to work on identifying their emotions and communicating them to their partner.

2. Broaden Your Support System: Kraft reminds us that our partner is just one person and he advises against leaning on any single individual for all your emotional needs. Kraft suggests that it is important for both people in the relationship to stay connected with family and friends who can also be supportive during times of uncertainty and high stress. This may also look like seeking professional counseling.

3. Focus on Positive & Achievable Things: Establish a routine, such as planning FaceTime, Zoom, or phone calls. Provide words of encouragement and check in with your partner. Try to bring up positive things in your conversation with your partner. Remember that quality of time is very different from quantity of time, make the most of the opportunities you get.

4. Intimacy Building Activities: Researchers recently published a study in the journal of Applied Psychology: Health & Well-Being that looked into the ways couples can maintain closeness during COVID-19. The study examined the effectiveness of an online intervention based on Awareness, Courage, and Love (ACL) model to promote closeness between couples during the pandemic. Researchers found that the group's closeness increased by 23%, suggesting that such interventions offer a promising effect. Such activities that were done during this intervention were:

a. A video on the power of eye-contact followed by a 4-minute exercise where partners were asked to look into each other's eyes. “Staring into Someone’s Eyes”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONYlKmdylXg)

b. 10-minute guided meditation to promote openness

c. Writing and then sharing questions such as: "What are currently your biggest struggles?"

d. A 1-minute "Speaking from the Heart" exercise where participants were asked to express their deepest feelings for their partner.

e. Activity that asked participants to take a photo of questions to ask their partners weekly after the session such as "How can you take better care of yourself?" or "What has been hard for you this week that you'd like me to know/understand?".

5. Do Something Different: It doesn't have to be big or luxurious. Sending an old fashion love

letter, take virtual walks together, virtual dinner dates, make future plans, etc. Try to get

creative in some small way and it will make a huge difference.

Cultivating intimacy from a distance while individually coping with the current climate can be challenging. Take this as an opportunity to see your partner in a new light and hope that when you come out of this situation that there will be a greater sense of gratitude. Just because we are in a pandemic doesn't mean you can't be playful, flirtatious, or experience moments of joy with your partner. Partners who focus on nurturing their relationship during these trying times are investing in their longer-term emotional health and satisfaction.

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Disclaimer

Information contained on this platform is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a mental health professional. It is not my intention to provide any services here, as I believe each person deserves real, ethical, quality services from a licensed professional. Please seek professional counseling if you are experiencing personal or relationship concerns.

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